2. Identify your turn-offs
A lot of people fail to realize that one of the most important things you can do is to remove your turn-offs," Jamea said. What this means is that, instead of trying to find and add things that turn you on, it's easier to remove things that turn you off. For example, if a messy house will stress you out, you'll be more engaged and eager to participate if the house is clean, rather than if you've come home to rose petals on the bed [in a messy house]. Making small changes by removing things that you don't like can vastly improve your sex life.